Mom Investigates Sibling Rivalry and makes this Shocking Discovery:

Sibling Rivalry turned my once complacent nurturing home environment into a shameful battleground.

Most parents are warned that the older sibling will have to be coached into accepting the new-born baby as part of the holistic family unit, but were parents prepared that in the most likely hood it will be the younger sibling causing the havoc?

For two years I have been attentively investigating the cause for the sibling rivalry that is rooted in my younger offspring's behaviour towards his sister two-year-older.

As parents, we advocate the healthy maintenance of personal boundaries but it never dawned on us to suggest boundaries to our new-born.

When the new baby arrived we gently turned to our daughter and explained to her repeatedly that her young baby brother is to be handled with care, love and protection. Never once did we turn to our baby and explain to him that he needs to respect his older sister, be considerate to her and gentle in his actions: all the baby repeatedly saw that there are boundaries of his sister's interactions with him, but none on his interactions with her!

We kept on reinforcing the elder child's boundaries when interacting with the baby, where we should have been addressing both children. We often forget the awareness already ripe in our babies' perception of the world around them.

Once the relationship between siblings become pear-shaped, the parents can rectify by re-establishing healthy boundaries in the most loving way we are capable of; talking your children through the fighting by acknowledging and verbalising their emotions. Allowing them to also verbalise and communicate how they feel to each other.

Disclaimer: This is untested insight, sibling rivalry take on many shapes and forms and if you need more in-depth advice on how to help you and your children live together in harmony, I suggest the book ‘Siblings Without Rivalry: How to help your children live together so you can live too.’ by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish (Authors of the acclaimed How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk)